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Hello Knox submitted by MM

A few tips and observances from my time in Self-Isolation, a Friday Funny if you will!

  • Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem. 
  • I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe. 
  • I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator. 
  • Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom 
  • PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom. 
  • Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job. 
  • I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone 
  • This morning I saw a neighbour talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.
  • Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business. 
  • My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet. 
  • I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear? 
  • I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom. 
  • Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun. 
  • Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.